lights don’t shine on her when she needs it the most…

1 of 9

It started gradually. When it first happened, it was the lights in the corridor. On a week night, it was usually quiet in the long corridor outside Yanzi’s apartment. One evening, a girl walked along the corridor to get to her apartment. The lights in the corridor switched on instantly. Lights remained shining well after she walked into her apartment.

Not long after, when the lights were switched off. A guy, carrying bags of empty coke bottles, came out from apartment no. 2047. As expected, lights shone generously on him. As he stepped off the corridor and started walking down the stairs, lights remained until he left the building completely.

Sadly, the lights didn’t shine on Yanzi when she came out of her apartment.

‘Tinyyyy… Where are you?’ Yanzi whispered.

Her little rabbit had always been bed-bound. Yanzi started getting worried because she never liked the idea of sleeping alone. Her rabbit had given her what she could never get from another human, cuddles and warmth when sleeping at home.

Yanzi couldn’t remember when it first happened, the corridor lights just wouldn’t turn on for her. It didn’t matter if she walked up and down the corridor. She even tried jumping up and down underneath the lights sensor. Nada. No lights.

‘Hello, I’m the tenant living in apartment 2046 in your building.’ Yanzi called the building manager.

He sounded sceptical on the other end of the line.

‘Oh, really?’ He asked.

Yanzi spoke to him a few times before. But he never seem to remember her.

‘The light on the corridor is broken again.’ She said calmly.

A couple from apartment 2021 walked out into the corridor. The lights turned on suddenly. Just for the couple. As if it couldn’t see Yanzi talking in the corridor all this time. Yanzi clenched her fist.

‘Don’t worry. It’s working again. Bye!’ Yanzi said.

She put her mobile down and ran downstairs searching. Still no sight of her little rabbit. She gave up. It might turn up the next day. She hoped. She was tired.

She was still exhausted from not enough sleep after a night at Lee’s place.

a part of her still can’t let go of him…

2 of 9

Yanzi had been seeing Lee for a while now. They didn’t see each other often and he had kept his life private and separate from her. One time when he called her up suddenly, ‘What are you wearing?’

‘Just a shirt and a skirt.’ Yanzi said flatly.

‘What do you want to do tonight?’ Lee prompted.

‘We can do the same thing as last time?’ Yanzi said.

Lee hung up. She put her phone down. She swore to herself she would never answer his call again. She contemplated blocking his number.

It wasn’t only phone conversation with Lee she was struggling with. It was the same in the bedroom. The first time when Yanzi was having an intercourse with Lee, he wanted the lights off. Yanzi didn’t understand why.

‘But then I can’t see you in the dark?’

‘I prefer it this way.’ He insisted.

All Yanzi wanted then and there was to slap his face and leave. But she didn’t.

It was rare they would eat dinner together. When Lee asked Yanzi out for dinner once, she thought it was odd. She happily accepted his invite anyway, what could she lose? Not long after Yanzi finished the steak on her plate.

‘Did you enjoy it?’ Lee asked. She knew he was referring to their intercourse the night before. She told him it was one of her best.

‘I still want the 3some if you can get your friend over. Then you can have it again.’ He pressed on.

‘What? Am I not good enough for you?’ She replied with a question. She then realized she was talking out loud that time. She couldn’t bear to disappoint him. She corrected herself.

‘Of course. I’ll ask her when I see her next.’ She said.

He then started going on about which position she would enjoy the most. She wasn’t in the mood to talk about her positions. She told him she had a work thing and left early.

There were many instances like that when Lee would get his way with no consideration to her feelings. And she would still let him come back to her.

the heart sees what is invisible to the eyes…

3 of 9

Guy at the counter mumbled something about terms and conditions.

‘Sorry, Saturday what?!’ Yanzi asked.

‘You can’t use the movie money after 5pm on Saturday!’ Guy then explained again directly to Dion. As if Yanzi was never there.

Yanzi and Dion would go to the movies once a week. Usually on a Friday night. They would also pick their favourite choc tops before getting inside the theatre. This time, guy at candy bar served them and mumbled through a list of choc top flavours on the menu. Yanzi only heard vanilla.

‘Sorry, what’s the first flavour again?’ Yanzi asked.

‘Boysenberry, mint and vanilla.’ Guy at candy bar explained again directly to Dion. Yanzi chose vanilla. Guy then handed both choc tops to Dion. As if Yanzi was never there.

Dion and Yanzi showed their tickets to the girl at the gate, she mumbled something about seven. Before they joined the queue outside cinema seven.

‘Is it so much to ask for them to speak clearly these days?’ Dion asked.

Yanzi nodded.

‘Have you noticed the people here can’t really see me at all?’ She asked.

If she treated him the way he treated her, would he have stuck around the way she did?

4 of 9

There was no particular reason why Tiny would have gone missing. The little rabbit was as domesticated as any pet can be. It became a routine every morning, when Yanzi would chase Tiny. Sometimes Yanzi would give up and let it sneak right under the blanket. Sometimes, when Yanzi caught it right in her palm, it would look up to her. As if it was begging to be let back into the warm bed again.

There was no way Yanzi would let it go if she caught it. She would hold onto it very tight and put it in her backpack. When they were out walking, it would usually sit on her shoulder. When weather was cold, she could feel the warmth on her ear. This was when she wished she had two rabbits. One sitting on each ear… her mind wandered easily. She noticed she had to go back to reality. So, she buried her face in her hands for a few seconds. She quickly got back to what she was doing.

She was combing her hair, naked, standing in front of a big rectangular mirror. She was watching Lee’s reflection in the mirror. He was still in bed, naked. He was on the phone with a girl he started dating ‘Hey you… ‘ Yanzi couldn’t hear what she said on the phone.

‘Hey you…’ Lee said it again. Yanzi guessed his new girlfriend must have said it back. Lee’s apartment was right where the airport was. A plane flew by and past. Lee was still saying ‘Hey you…’ back to her. Yanzi started getting dressed.

Lee and Yanzi had an intercourse an hour ago.

‘Did you miss me?’ Lee asked new girlfriend over the phone. Yanzi looked at herself in the mirror. She hated herself. She would do anything for Lee to say the word – I miss you, to her instead.

But Lee was saying it to someone else on the phone, ‘I miss you too…’ right in front of Yanzi.

Yanzi suddenly had the urge to scream. She finished packing up her things into her bag and left his apartment. It was early morning, she didn’t want to disturb the neighbor.

She ran up to the rooftop and saw one plane flying towards her. This was when she started screaming out. Letting it all out, and drowned her anger with the noise from the plane flying above her.

When door doesn’t open for her, she walks around it…

5 of 9

It had been 7 hours and 15 days, since Tiny had gone missing. Yanzi and Dion printed out a few missing pet posters and stuck them on bulletin boards in the neighbourhood.

‘You should reward a bit more than a cup of coffee. Tiny is not your stupid planner you know.’ said Dion. Yanzi walked slowly behind Dion. She just stuck her last poster on an empty wall.

Dion stopped in front of a revolving door at his office building. Revolving door detected him and started moving as he stepped inside a compartment. He walked straight ahead inside.

‘Matt didn’t call me last night, I was up all night waiting for his call.’ Dion realized he was walking by himself when he was moaning about his boyfriend. He turned around. Yanzi was still outside, waving manically at the door sensor on the ceiling.

‘Jump up and wave maybe that will work?’ Dion yelled from inside of the building. Yanzi did what he said. But nothing.

Dion tried waving from inside, this time it didn’t work for him either. They both jumped up and down waving at the sensor. But revolving door wouldn’t budge in. Then Yanzi’s phone started ringing. Her heart stopped a beat when she saw Lee’s name. She froze in the middle of the door while Dion was still waving at the sensor inside. She walked away from door to pick up Lee’s call. Suddenly, it became alive and started rotating. Dion stepped in a compartment and walked outside.

‘Hey, it’s working again!’ He yelled at Yanzi. But she was busy on the phone with Lee.

Dion was walking in and out a few times. And door revolved for him, no problem. When Lee hung up, Yanzi saw Dion walking out of revolving door for the 5th time.

‘Hey, it’s working now, we should get going.’ Dion said. When they walked towards the door together, it wouldn’t open again. Dion was frustrated.

‘It was working just now when you were talking at the far corner.’ He was waving manically at the sensor with Yanzi standing next to him. Yanzi gave up and left.

‘Let’s walk around the building.’ She said flatly. As soon as she walked out of door’s sight, it became alive. It kept revolving while Dion stood there, scratching his head.

Sunset looks the most beautiful, when you are the saddest…

6 of 9

When Lee agreed to spend a weekend somewhere with Yanzi, she spent the next few days booking a holiday house. All the planning and the excitement of their first road trip, had helped taking her mind off her missing little rabbit.

On the day of the trip, Yanzi’s phone vibrated while she was packing her suitcase. She picked up and saw Lee’s message: ‘Got held up at work. Go ahead and I will drive up as soon as I can get out’. So, she took the train and went up to the country side by herself. It was a 4 hour train ride to the house by the lake. She dropped her suitcase in the bedroom as soon as she arrived. She then started cooking Lee’s favourite, fried chicken with curry and rice. She was so caught up in her cooking, she had forgotten Lee was still at work in the city.

Yanzi’s phone rang. She picked it up and heard Lee’s voice on the other end.

‘Hey babe, how’s the house up there?’ said Lee, cheerfully. Yanzi opened a bottle of beer and had her first sip. Nothing could beat the first sip of a cold beer in a summer day. She heard someone talking in the background. It sounded a girl’s voice.

‘Hey, the place is huge. There’s even a balcony here overlooking the lake!’ said Yanzi. ‘There are bicycles here too, we can ride around the lake and into town if we run out of…’ She stopped. She got interrupted when she heard Lee said ‘shh…’. It was as if he was telling someone to be quiet.

‘Are you with someone now?’ asked Yanzi, in disbelief.

‘Hey, I was going to say I’m with some colleagues at work. I already had a few drinks at the bar. I don’t think I can drive up tonight.’ he paused, then reframed ‘I don’t know if I will feel like driving up tomorrow either, I will let you know in the morning?’.

‘Don’t worry about coming up then.’ said Yanzi. She then realized she said it out loud.

‘What? Are you upset?’ he pushed. The conversation wasn’t going anywhere after that. So, Lee hung up. Yanzi took her beer bottle and walked out into the balcony overlooking the lake.

She managed to catch the end of sunset. She wondered why sunset always looked the most beautiful, when she was the saddest.

True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.

7 of 9

Dion arrived at the holiday house and saw broken glass all over the floor. He dropped his suitcase, left it at the door. He started sweeping broken pieces to one corner. Not only that, the curry was still in the big pot, uneaten. Rice was left in the cooker, cold.

Dion found Yanzi drinking at the balcony, watching the sunset. When he pulled her hand towards him, Yanzi couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. She broke down and cried into his shoulder. After she had a few minutes of good cry, Dion let her go and walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and found bottles beers Yanzi had stocked up for the weekend with Lee. Cans and bottles of Asahi. They were all Lee’s favourite. Dion didn’t mind Asahi, it wasn’t his favourite either. He grabbed a couple of bottles, walked to the balcony where he found Yanzi laying on the sun bed.

‘I never demanded him to be exclusive to me. I did everything he wanted. He was even dating other girls while he was fucking me. Time after time, he keeps cancelling out on me. It’s like I don’t matter. I don’t exist to him at all.’ said Yanzi, finally confessing to her best friend.

‘He’s a mindless, disgusting dog!’ Dion agreed with her at all cost. Just like any good friend would.

‘And what’s up with my building too? The lights in the corridor never lit up for me. The staff at the cinema don’t see or hear me. Even the revolving door won’t rotate for me!’ said Yanzi.

‘Thinking back now, no one heard you at all. You ordered the choc tops. They handed them to me instead. Not you.’ Dion started analyzing what he had observed recently, whenever Yanzi was with him. ‘Even the revolving door wouldn’t rotate whenever you stand in front of it. It moved perfectly as soon as you walked away.’ Dion couldn’t deny what he saw. He started questioning Yanzi’s existence.

‘Why can’t I be seen or be heard by anyone? Am I a ghost?’ asked Yanzi. As if she was pleading the sun for an answer.

The sunset looked as beautiful as yesterday. If not, it was more beautiful today.

Her heart finally said enough is enough…

8 of 9

Yanzi picked up her mobile and saw 12 missed calls. All from Lee bar 2 calls, from her mum. Her head still hurt after rounds of beers with Dion last night at an izakaya bar. They talked about if Tiny might have been taken in by someone. Hopefully a kind stranger, who loved rabbits but not too much that they would keep it. They decided they would try to call up places like Rescue Animal Centre the next day.

It had only been a couple of days since her break down episode at the holiday house. She kept staring at her phone, thinking she would call Lee back. But she didn’t. Instead, she picked up the next phone ringing on her desk. It was a customer on the other end of the line. He wanted to reserve a car and drive up to the mountains.

‘It would still cost the same even if you return it the next day.’ explained Yanzi. She liked her job as a customer service. She liked her boss and her work mates. Sometimes she could even make a customer happy over the phone, by saving them money like she was doing now. It was all she needed to be happy at her job.

Although she would have loved to work in book or magazine publishing, specializing in graphic design and book design. But she was far from being qualified for it yet.

Sometimes to be seen is the same thing as being saved…

9 of 9

It was an unusually dark evening at 5pm, when Yanzi walked back to her apartment. It also happened to be the winter solstice, the day with the shortest period of daylight and longest night of the year. Yanzi walked up the stairs to the corridor where her apartment was.

At the end of the corridor, she stood there rummaging in her handbag for a torchlight. And then the lights in the corridor lit up, suddenly. It was as if the lights could finally see her again. For the first time since a while now, she walked along the brightly-lit corridor, towards the door with her keys firmly held in her hands. She then noticed a white little blob on the mattress outside her apartment door.

‘Tiny!!!’ yelled Yanzi. The white little blob was her little rabbit. It hopped and hopped towards her. Until Tiny found itself on Yanzi’s hands.

‘Where have you been?’ Yanzi asked her little rabbit. ‘I’ve been everywhere, pookie. Looking for you. Are you hiding from me?’

Tiny then leaned towards Yanzi’s nose and gave her an Eskimo kiss.

maybe we pretend to be lost, in hopes of being found…

the aftermath

12 years later, Yanzi was now a focus and talented book designer. After 4 failed relationship with more guys. She was now happily engaged to a girl. She was typing away at a cafe organizing print cover art for her first children’s book. She received a text message suddenly, she saw Lee’s name. He was still hung up on her. Lee had been reaching out to her all these years. She never replied. This time she thought she had better nip it on the bud and end it once and for all.

‘Oh hi, I think you have to stop haunting me now lol.’ texted Yanzi. She kept it light on the tone.

‘Haunting ok I’ll leave you alone’ texted Lee.

Yanzi’s girlfriend walked into the cafe and sat a rabbit straight on Yanzi’s laptop. It was a boy rabbit. His mum, Tiny passed away last year. Yanzi grabbed it and put it on her shoulder. She got up and walked towards her girlfriend and gave her a long good hug.

‘I love u.’ said Yanzi. Girlfriend let Yanzi hug her as long as she wanted.

‘I love u too.’ Yanzi was seen and heard by someone she adored. Yanzi grabbed Tiny Junior and kissed it.

Clear Message	Self-love!
Use of Emotions	Sadness about always being the 2nd best.
Contains Personal Details	He picked up her phone while she was putting on makeup. She had never felt so unloved ever in her life. They had the best time together the night before.
Includes Compelling Character	Her best friend who is the only person noticing no one or nothing can sense her presence. He tries fixing things for her as noone else would bother or take notice of her problem. It became very strange to him too why she could not be seen.
Authentic	The story is based on personal experience.
Exaggeration	In The Trouble with You, the guy came into the police station confessing he murdered his family with their body parts in plastic bags. But police were too occupied to take him seriously. This is the kind of exaggeration I want in all my stories.